During DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) group today, one of my peers mentioned that out of all of the hell she experienced growing up as a child who was abused and in a very invalidating environment, the one thing she learned from her parents was that she can do ANYTHING on her own.
Our therapist said that this is an example of thriving.
Even though this woman did not get what she needed from her parents, she found a way to survive.
I thought that was pretty neat, and it got me thinking.
Clearview Women’s Center is a residential treatment program that specializes in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
The center, located in Venice Beach, Calif., is the premier program on the West Coast for BPD treatment.
Invalidation, as used in psychology, is a term most associated with Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Marsha Linehan.
As I described in my post on the family dynamics of borderline personality disorder, “Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said.I have news for you - I still vividly remember specific words and situations from decades ago. And, when we wake up one day and realize that not all families live this way and that we, indeed, were part of a dysfunctional or abusive household, the memories will come back from the times you thought what you said and did didn't matter.Same with the times that you didn't say or do what would have been the healthy choice for a child. I am very sensitive to situations where I see a child exposed to certain language, fighting, and worse. While the job was very rewarding, this was before my DBT days, and I literally had a nervous breakdown from the work. Essentially boundaries and the fact that I had so much inner work to do.In my last post, I discussed how children act out certain roles in their family of origin in order to try to emotionally stabilize parents who are emotional unstable.Doing so also has the effect of maintaining dysfunctional relationship patterns so that the family operates in predictable ways ( I will look at the dysfunctional family dynamics that I believe help to create the disorder.These are the people who are not psychotic but who seem to show very poor judgment in interpersonal relationships, and who often seem to misinterpret in a negative way the most innocent-sounding comments made to them by others.