Occasionally, very occasionally, it’s a different story. Chips with everything AA is crazy about chips – or 'sobriety coins'. No two groups are the same Because AA is self-organising at the grass roots level, groups define themselves differently. Others are ‘participation meetings’, where everyone has a chance to share. There are men only meetings, women only meetings, and meetings for any variety of LGBT. Or so meetings like to chant at the end of the session, after reciting the Serenity Prayer. But it’s a refrain in the fellowship that AA works better than aversive medicine (the dreaded antabuse, Ebola in tablet form), white coats (cognitive intelligence therapy), or sermons from self-appointed experts who’ve never themselves been there but know all about it (which, alas, includes most of the medical profession. Nowadays, while sitting on appointment committees, I've seen personal statements in which the job seeker says they’ve been through AA (to counteract any mention of their drinking days in confidential letters of reference). God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
It can be very hard, especially at the beginning of a relationship,to leave someone you really care for, even love because he/she has a drinking problem.
When you first come into sobriety, it is usually advised that you do not get into a relationship.
But if dating people who participate in AA or NA is not your thing, than Nagy suggests dating people from SMART recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety, church, mental health peer support programs, therapy groups, and so on.
Her own experience, however, appears mainly limited to men in and out of 12-Step recovery programs.
I was worried about his anger, or that he would relapse, or be too stressed out or my actions would cause something bad to happen. It was his turn to learn to deal with the reality of our existence instead of us having to shrink because of the reality of .” His mother had been an alcoholic and it had stunted his life. “Run” was the best advice I received and it’s the advice I would give my daughter if she ever got involved with an addict. When I finally left my husband, I was only able to do so after taking weeks to compose a list of facts.
The reason this advice hurt so much at the time was that it would have forced me to see my part in things. At my office, I began to put together a black and white list of the things in our relationship that I could not accept.
In the title of her book, Girlfriend of Bill, author Karen Nagy riffs on the time-honored public code for mutual AA recognition: “Are you a friend of [AA co-founder] Bill?
” Nagy says she was unable to find any material written “specifically for someone who is new to such a relationship or who is thinking about dating someone in recovery.” So she wrote one, and the publishing arm of Hazelden brought it out.
And, unfortunately for you, alcohol is THE ONE AND ONLY for the alcoholic. Alcohol will always be the priority of the active alcoholic.
But we do not live in an ideal world and many people fall for alcoholics.
AA is not the Masons where, outside of gatherings, you keep in touch with code words or secret handshakes and conspiratorial ‘assistance’. AA lives by the distilled wisdom contained in the proverb, motto, and slogan – not ‘theory’. and Dr Bob, founded AA in Akron, Ohio, in the 1930s, when even to have stopped drinking was shameful – evidence of past ‘moral weakness’. The Serenity Prayer Few have heard it before they first attend an AA meeting, but once it's in your life it never leaves.