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Instead, in the 21st century, technology is the way to date.Ask any 20-something and he or she has probably signed up for any number of smartphone apps or online dating sites.If you’re not ready, it’s cool to stay single and hang out with your close friends. In a healthy relationship, the feelings are mutual. If this doesn’t describe your situation, there’s nothing wrong with you, but you probably do need to keep looking.

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Conversation flows naturally for a couple hours, with each beginning to learn about the background and interests of the other.After dessert, the gentleman pays for the meal and then drives the lady home.Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice.If this mentality pervades our decision­making in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?I checked the website Eater for its Heat Map, which includes new, tasty restaurants in the city. The stunning fact remained: it was quicker for my dad to find a wife than it is for me to decide where to eat dinner.

This kind of rigor goes into a lot of my decisionmaking.

But as a pastor and counselor, I see two common problems in those happily in the midst of this infatuation-infused season of attraction.

Some, often good-intentioned, end up being intentional.

Josh Squires (@jsquires12) has degrees in counseling and divinity.

He currently serves as the pastor of counseling and congregational care at First Presbyterian Church in Columbia, South Carolina, where he lives with his wife Melanie and their five children.

A coffee shop near the university — that’s where our story started.